Greetings folks, grab your gelato and your phrasebooks, because Mr. and Mrs. Knobby took on Tuscany, Sardinia, and Corsica in April 2016, and let me tell you, it was a Mediterranean masterpiece of pasta, beaches, and the occasional near-miss with a herd of sheep. We traded our snow shovels for sun hats and our garden gnomes for a pair of BMW F800GSs, affectionately named "Vespa" and "Vineyard."

Our journey began with a flight itinerary that looked like a European geography quiz: BOI-ORD-FRA-VCE. We landed in Venice, Italy, feeling like we'd just stepped into a postcard, albeit a postcard that smelled faintly of canals and espresso. The Park Hotel Ai Pini was a lovely base for our Venetian adventures, which mostly involved trying not to fall into the canals while taking selfies.

We had a couple of "free days" in Venice, which mostly involved getting lost in the labyrinthine streets and eating our weight in pasta. The welcome meeting and dinner was a delightful introduction to Italian cuisine, and I'm pretty sure I consumed enough carbs to fuel a small army.

Then, the riding began! We hopped on Vespa and Vineyard and headed for Florence, Tuscany. The Hotel Michelangelo was a Renaissance masterpiece, and the city itself was like an open-air museum. We spent a day exploring Florence, which mostly involved me trying to figure out if the David statue was actually that big in real life.

Florence to Siena was a scenic ride through the rolling Tuscan hills, where the Hotel Athena was a charming medieval retreat. We spent a day exploring Siena, which mostly involved me trying to figure out if the leaning tower was actually leaning or just a clever optical illusion.

Siena to Livorno involved an overnight ferry, which was an adventure in itself. Let's just say the cabin was cozy, and the sea was… well, it was wet.

We landed in Olbia, Sardinia, and headed for Cala Gonone. The Hotel Casa Dorada was a seaside paradise, and the beaches were absolutely stunning. We spent a day exploring Cala Gonone, which mostly involved me trying to figure out if the water was actually that blue or if my eyes were playing tricks on me.

Cala Gonone to Alghero took us along the stunning Sardinian coastline, where the Carlos V Hotel was a luxurious seaside retreat. Alghero to Bonifacio, Corsica, involved another ferry ride, which was slightly less cozy than the last one. The Hotel Genovese in Bonifacio was a charming cliffside hotel, and the views were breathtaking.

Bonifacio to Porto, Corsica, took us along the rugged Corsican coastline, where the Hotel Les Flots Bleus was a seaside gem. Porto to Bastia was a scenic ride through the Corsican mountains, where the Hotel Best Western was a welcome respite.

Then, back to Italy! Bastia to Portovenere, Cinque Terre, was a stunning coastal ride, where the Royal Sporting Hotel was a luxurious seaside retreat. We spent a day exploring Cinque Terre, which mostly involved me trying not to fall off the cliffside paths while taking photos.

Finally, the return to Venice! The Park Hotel Ai Pini was a familiar sight, and we enjoyed a final night of Italian cuisine before our bus ride to Ljubljana, Slovenia.

What did we learn? Tuscany, Sardinia, and Corsica are a Mediterranean dream, with stunning landscapes, delicious food, and roads that will test your riding skills (and your ability to resist gelato). The BMW F800GS is a trusty steed, even when facing twisty mountain roads and ferry rides. And most importantly, Mr. and Mrs. Knobby are always up for an adventure, even if it involves more pasta than a food critic's fantasy. Until next time, folks, keep your helmets on and your sense of humor handy!