Mr. Knobby's Wild Ride: Patagonia on Two Wheels

Ah, Patagonia—the land of windswept pampas, towering peaks, and glaciers that look like they’ve been plucked straight out of a sci-fi movie. And who better to tackle this rugged paradise than Mr. Knobby, the intrepid adventurer with a penchant for motorcycles and questionable snack choices? Armed with a BMW F800 GS and a sense of humor sharper than the Andes, Mr. Knobby embarked on a journey in December 2010 that would make even Indiana Jones jealous.

The Flight of Fancy

The adventure began in Idaho, where Mr. Knobby boarded a plane bound for Santiago, Chile. He spent the flight dreaming of empanadas and wondering if his motorcycle rental in Punta Arenas would come with extra padding for his posterior. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

Punta Arenas: The Starting Line

Upon landing in Punta Arenas, Mr. Knobby met his trusty steed—a BMW F800 GS, the Swiss Army knife of motorcycles. With its 798cc engine and rugged design, this bike was built to handle everything Patagonia could throw at it, including gale-force winds and roads that seemed to have been designed by blindfolded llamas.

Cerro Castillo: A Castle Without Kings

The first stop was Cerro Castillo, a charming town that sounds like it should have knights and dragons but instead offers stunning views and the occasional guanaco (think llama but sassier). Here, Mr. Knobby learned an important lesson: never underestimate Patagonia’s wind. It’s like Mother Nature’s way of saying, “Hold onto your helmet!”

Torres del Paine: Nature’s Show-Off

Next up was Torres del Paine National Park, where jagged peaks and turquoise lakes left Mr. Knobby speechless—or maybe he was just out of breath from wrestling his bike through gravel roads. The park’s famous towers seemed to mock him as he tried to capture the perfect sunrise photo. Pro tip: don’t fight the wind; embrace it as part of the aesthetic.

El Calafate & Perito Moreno Glacier: Ice Ice Baby

Crossing into Argentina, Mr. Knobby arrived in El Calafate, gateway to the Perito Moreno Glacier. This massive ice field is so beautiful it could make you forget your aching back—or at least distract you long enough to snap a selfie before your fingers freeze.

La Angostura Ranch: Cowboy Dreams

At a ranch in La Angostura, Mr. Knobby traded his motorcycle boots for cowboy boots (briefly) and indulged in some hearty Argentine asado (barbecue). Fueled by steak and Malbec wine, he felt invincible—until he realized he’d have to ride through Rio Gallegos next.

Rio Gallegos & Rio Grande: Wind Woes

Rio Gallegos welcomed him with more wind (shocking!) and desolate roads that stretched into infinity. By the time he reached Rio Grande, he was practically fluent in swearing at gusts of air.

Ushuaia: The End of the World

Finally, Ushuaia—the southernmost city on Earth! Known as “The End of the World,” it’s a place where penguins outnumber people and every view looks like it belongs on a postcard. Mr. Knobby celebrated his arrival with a triumphant fist pump and promptly fell asleep clutching his bike keys.

Tierra del Fuego & Cerro Sombrero: Fire Meets Ice

Exploring Tierra del Fuego National Park was like stepping into another planet—one where every corner hides a new adventure. He went on a rigorous hike to the Beagle Channel. Cerro Sombrero marked the beginning of his return journey.

Back to Punta Arenas

After looping back to Punta Arenas, Mr. Knobby bid farewell to his BMW F800 GS—a bike that had carried him through thick gravel, thin patience, and everything in between.

Lessons Learned

1. Patagonia’s wind is not your friend—it’s your personal trainer.

2. The BMW F800 GS is a beast that laughs in the face of bad roads.

3. Empanadas taste better when you’ve earned them by surviving Patagonia.

As Mr. Knobby flew home to Idaho, he couldn’t help but smile at the memories—and vow to return someday with extra padding for his seat!